Key & Peele: I Said Bitch
Ah Yeah - Robert Glasper (ft. Musiq & Chrissette Michelle)
Check out the Experiment Black Radio Project here
In 1995, we were introduced to a rap group headed by The Notorious B.I.G., who was arguably the biggest rap artist at the time. The Junior Mafia included Biggie, some random ninja, a cat named after Lil Caesars Pizza, a couple more random ninjas and Lil Kim, aka Big Momma Thang. In a group full of dudes, one of which for all intents and purposes was morbidly obese, Kim shined brightly. She had a good flow, said some of the nastiest shit my 15 year old ears had ever heard and possess this around the way cuteness that made all the nastiness she said that much more appealing.
Who could forget the promotional ad for her debut album Hardcore? Kim dressed in leopard print bra and panties, squatting in an overly decorated room with her fat cat on full display. That poster became the object of numerous self love sessions for many young ninjas around the world. As Kim’s success grew and popularity crossed over to the masses something increasingly weird began to happen.
Much like Michael Jackson, Kim’s physical appearance began to change with every public appearance. It started with a deserved boob job. Kim was lacking in the rack area and I’m definitely not against a little boob enhancement. However, slowly yet surely, Kim began to transform into… well…. into a Muppet. Her nose, eyes, cheeks, and skin all began to morph into what I like to call a box of old trophies molten together in an obtuse form.
Why would a woman who was moderately good looking want to change her appearance to the point were she looks like she is wearing Mufasa’s head corpse has a face helmet? I have no idea. After a recent picture of Kim (looking like Leatherface) surfaced on blogs this week, a group of friends and I had a discussion about what the hell is going on with her and the topic lead to relationships.
It has been well publicized that Kim was letting Biggie Smalls heavyweight ass climb on top of her. We all saw the abrupt meet and ride’em cowboy scene in the Notorious movie. And we all know B.I.G., as black and ugly as ever as he may have been, pushed her to the side to married the light bright next to white Faith Evans after only knowing her for a short period of time (like a few days). Kim has stated that she was devastated by this but continued to sleep with him. This may have been the trigger that shot Kim into bizarro land.
We can agree that a level of emotional, possibly verbal, abuse going on there. In many cases where a person is put into traumatic situations such as this, they may choose some form of self alteration. In most cases it is as simple as gaining or losing weight, which could develop into an eating disorder. Some may go through surgical procedures, most commonly breast augmentations. Depending on the level of trauma others may go to extremes to change their appearance and major plastic surgery. It is apparent that Kim went to the extreme to make herself look different, maybe in her mind, prettier. The sad realization is she doesn’t look better she looks horrific. Kim needs some real friends. Friends who will be honest with her and make her see a counselor instead of giving her rides to the doctor’s office.
What’s even more frightening is this pretty permanent. There is no going back after you have been under the knife. The only thing we can do is hope she doesn’t feel the need to have any more work done. Let’s hope she finds some self love and peace to keep her throughout the rest of her years. I know I can’t continue to watch her transform into a human Bratz doll.
I’m praying for you Kim.
By Sarah Stefanson, Sex Education Correspondent
Women are lucky in that they can have an orgasm pretty much anywhere and not have to worry about leaving behind any telltale substances. Men, on the other hand, know that the end result of their pleasure includes a mess to clean up. This means that you should have an ejaculation etiquette plan that includes where it goes, where it doesn’t go, how it’s cleaned up, and how it’s disposed of. Much of this is dependent on your partner’s likes and dislikes, so make sure to get an idea of where she draws the line when it comes to your climactic fluids.
Here is the AM breakdown of ejaculation etiquette based on location and situation. Also included are hints about what you absolutely should never do when it comes to ejaculation etiquette.
If you’re having sex without a condom (which should only be done with a girl you’re confident won’t give you an STI), you’ll likely end up finishing inside her. Make sure to get her permission, and understand the birth control situation before coming inside her. This option lifts most of the cleanup responsibility off of you since your ejaculate is now literally up in her business. She will likely excuse herself to go to the bathroom and clean up there. There is a possibility that some of your stuff could leak out before she makes her way to the bathroom. In this case, the onus is back on you to clean up your mess.
Etiquette reminder: Don’t tell her that you won’t ejaculate inside her and then do it anyway.
In A Condom
When using protection, the condom should be removed immediately after you ejaculate, before you lose your erection. This will prevent any sperm from escaping and slopping all over her or the bed. Tie the end off so nothing leaks out and place it in the garbage — not the toilet or the floor.
Etiquette reminder: Don’t ask her to take the used condom off for you. That’s your responsibility.
In Her Mouth
The ejaculation etiquette involved in oral sex is a little more complex. First of all, you have to determine whether or not she wants to swallow. Once this is established, it’s nice to let her know when to expect your orgasm so she can either prepare to swallow and avoid gagging or switch to a different method of stimulation, like using her hand, to finish you off. You don’t have to make a big announcement of it. A simple, “It’s time,” would do, or you could agree on a subtler signal that you’re about to erupt.
Etiquette reminder: Don’t hold her head so she has no choice but to swallow. That’s a good way to never get a blow job again.
There are still a few more ejaculation etiquette reminders you need to know…
On Her butt/Breasts
Some men like the idea of ejaculating on a woman’s breasts or butt, and some women think it’s sexy too. Again, this should be established beforehand, because it’s possible that it could gross her out and that would be bad ejaculation etiquette. If she digs it, then go ahead.
Etiquette reminder: Don’t rub it in afterward. Don’t spread it around with your hands and don’t collapse on top of her so the mess is squished between your bodies.
On Her Face
Coming on her face is a tricky issue. Some women really get off on the idea, but plenty of others think it’s disgusting, and some even find it degrading. So, it’s essential that you get her permission before you shoot anywhere near or on her face.
Etiquette reminder: Do not get any in her eyes. Avoid her hair as well, if possible.
If you follow AM’s ejaculation etiquette, you can avoid plenty of awkward and potentially gross post-sex cleanup routines. You’ll also have a better chance of keeping your girlfriend happy, which means you’ll have more opportunities to practice your etiquette rules in the future.
YWJ final thought on this article…Man fuck all that. When a brotha’s drunk and ready to cum, I am not in the right mind frame to be thinking about all this.Source: askmen.com
I’d like to take this opportunity for myself to introduce ……….. well, MYSELF!
I’m one piece of this dynamic entourage that IS the con9lomerate. I hail from a place where men are still men and the thought of being a gentleman carries more weight than a world champion weight lifter. So what if this place only exists in my thoughts, I’m more than comfortable bringing those thoughts to your screen and dropping them in your lap. Don’t get me wrong I absolutely love some good coonery and foolishness, but there is a time a place for everything.
I guess a simple but complex bio line would read as such for me: I’m a God-Fearing, 30-something, IT professional with dreams of telling the corporate world to kiss my ass and travel for a living, seeing and experiencing all that this world has to offer.
One of my main goals is to see all 7 wonders of the world, unfortunately thanks to terrorism many of them are no longer viewable up close and personal, but I’ll make due. I am a godfather of one, son of 2, brother of 4, friend of many and lover of women! I’m a very genuine person with the kindess of a Saint and the wrath of an AINT. I firmly believe that time waits for no one, so you should live each moment like it’s your last because you never know when that moment will be.
So to sum all that up, I’m a gentleman that loves a daily dose of foolishness, with visions of grandeur that plays many different roles to many different people all while teetering the balance of light and dark and siezing the moment with both hands and my teeth. Hope you enjoy the journey.
Salutations & Ejaculations:
I am Young Willie Joe; I go by many other names, but that’s not important at this point. I hail from the wonderful city of Miami, Florida; first generation American, but full of that Haitian spirit.
I am a professional doing what I can now, to ensure a fulfilling and prosperous life tomorrow. Loved by many, especially cafeteria ladies and grandmothers. I’m a complex individual to understand, yet I am simple and easy to please. I love nerds, fried chicken, and sweet tea. I am a bit of a dreamer, but always remain realistic and grounded. I am a man with many sides; one minute I can be quiet and reserved, the next, ignant and silly…either way you are gonna love a brotha! Oh, and according to a prophet that I met in McDonald’s, one day I will become a respected minister…saving souls and blessing hoes!
I’m going to try my best to keep this blog entertaining and maybe a bit insightful for you, so come and ride with a trill ninja! Lol